Because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event. It doesn't just happen once. It happens over and over again. I lose you every time. Every time I'm kept in the dark. Every time I'm outcasted. Every time I have unanswered questions.
"Lifedance: The area dividing the brain and the soul is affected in many ways by experience--- some lose all mind and become soul: insane. Some lose all soul and become mind: intellectual. Some lose both and come: accepted.
Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling, but start. Start & don't stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just start.