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Eat yourself some motherfucking candy

I Can't Sleep Jokes | Similar Galleries: Feel Better Funny , Sick Someecards ,

'My wife made me join a bridge club. I jumped off last Tuesday.

For the bitches who talked to my husband behind my back lmao

I laughed entirely too long at this.

I am half way there! No kids, just need the stay at home part! No words have ever described me more appropriately than this.

This is not going on my humor board. I need a hopes and dreams board.


Ecards, Random, E Cards, Email Cards

I assume you've built some dicking around time into your calendar this year?

I'm gonna save my resolutions for I think I want to dick around for another year. sounds like a plan!


Reminds me of some girls nights!

This is too funny..and true!

Funny Resolutions for memes, videos etc from the internet Ending another year always

I think this is a good note to end on for right now.

blast this through the stores system

Hilarious! #ecards #funny #men

Decent men and Unicorns . I wonder if the address for the unicorn farm is in my GPS?

Maybe you should just have 'slut' tattooed on your forehead. Add to your collection

Maybe you should just have 'slut' tattooed on your forehead.

Thanks!!  So happy to have left that sociopathic narcissist.

So happy to have left that sociopathic narcissist.

Totally how I feel.. i have develped ppl anxiety since ive been a mom.. was never a problem before.

I often feel socially awkward because of this.

This reminds me of my daughter cause people always ask me why she is so quiet. now I know. :)

Just me

it's the quiet ones you gotta worry about.

It was worth it

cleaning microfiber couches

Free and Funny Christmas Season Ecard: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty. and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.

I prefer professional freeloader

Like a hooker, but smarter