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Your Heart is an idiot.

Medically speaking, your heart is a complete idiot. Smart heart gets it. Smart heart knows how to beat.

No your just a cunt and a whore

A pet peeve of mine. the complaints of a run ragged stay at home mom. try being a single mother with a full time job. Or just a mother with a full time job. I've done both and can tell you which is more difficult.

I could keep this kitchen clean if you people would just stop eating here. True story.

"I could keep this kitchen clean if you people would just stop eating here." - YOUR ECARDS - funny

Parenting+boys+is+not+for+sissys!

I feel like that every time I have to change my work password - they forgot that it can't be a word you've used in the past year

this is my husband lol

"A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house." Although mine usually does clean the house too:)

~ Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

~ Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest. So freaking true!

pinterest funny quotes about anger management | Quotes Factory | Funny, inspirtional and motivational quotes,status ...

I don't need "Anger Management" classes. You need "Shut the Fuck Up" classes

LOL!

I"d tell you to kiss my ass, but I'm pretty sure you'd fall in love, and then I'd never get rid of you.

I noticed you have muscles, tattoos and a real job. Excuse me, while I take my clothes off.

Free and Funny Flirting Ecard: I noticed you have muscles, tattoos and a real job. Excuse me, while I take my clothes off.

You can't get it perfect every time. Everyone's learning as they go!

Good Judgment comes from Experience and experience, ~ well that comes from poor Judgement. " Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The YUNiversity

I can actually hear your words being misspelled while you are speaking to me - Quote - Amen - Pet Peeve -

When I grow up, I want become a blackjack dealer...so that when people ask me about work, I can tell them that 'everyday I'm shuffling'.

I AM A BLACK JACK DEALER! When I grow up, I want become a blackjack dealer.so that when people ask me about work, I can tell them that 'everyday I'm shuffling'.

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