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I would like to think I will die a heroic death but it's more likely I'll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting. [substitute "peanut butter" for frosting!

word

My brother told me aliens and monsters lived under the bed.then the next morning I stuck my led off and hit the dog's leg and thought it was a monster's leg.from then on i would crawl to the end of the bed and take a flying leap out of my room :D

I only have to say "really" about 5 times.

Sometimes I think i'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop Picture Quote

Cuddling is when you hold your pet hostage and think they enjoy it.

Happiness is. Cuddling your pet. You just realized. Cuddling is when you hold your pet hostage and think enjoy it. haha yeah I can see that.

Me too...falling up stairs in 4 in heels carrying my coffee yet not spilling a drop. Now that is talent

Seems legit Requires Real Skills!

Jokes humor funny

funny quote based on how i react when toast pops out, i will never look cool walking away from an explosion. so me

People talk about having an inner child. I have an inner old lady who says inappropriate things, tells everyone to be quiet, and wants to go to bed at

Haaaaa

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead. Haha thus the reason I rarely drink orange juice I about died!

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites (Life By Nadine Lynn)

story of a night shift nurse!

Casual Friday with a tiara and a robe and a box of wine!

Quote: If showing up in a robe and tiara with a box of wine is wrong, then maybe I don't fully comprehend how Casual Friday actually works.

pintrest - fentybinder

This is so true. And I love that this is totally how most of my friends' stories start!

That's just too much!!

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have anymore food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment. THIS IS MY LIFE

Me too! Also when you post what you think is hilarious on FB and no one comments!! They don't get the really funny stuff like that.

1947 edition MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET Antique Book 1ST PRINTING xmas SANTA CLAUS ♥

I call that "slaphappy." You get so tired, that you are to the point of being dazed and goofy and weird, all at the same time.

Me often

23 Funny Adult Quotes - "That horrifying moment when you're looking for an adult, but you realize you are an adult. So you look around for an older adult. An adultier adult. Someone better at adulting than you.

Make a lot of moves people. Make a lot of moves...

My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street. LOL I will never look at a squirrel the same again

This is for my bestie Mrs. Stevie Saia the most CLUMSY chick I have ever met in my whole life ;) love you!!! MUAH

Funny pictures about I'm not clumsy. Oh, and cool pics about I'm not clumsy. Also, I'm not clumsy.

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